Permission to move beyond shame

Do you feel ashamed or awkward for wanting what you want when it comes to sex or intimacy?

For many people - particularly gay men - shame and judgement have played a big part in how we feel about sex, and how we explore our desires.

Pleasure becomes possible when you believe that what you want matters

Sex and pleasure are often connected with shame, or judgement: are you getting too much, are you getting enough, are you getting it right?

Most people have been taught not to trust their body when it tells them they want something. When it comes to how we feel -  particularly about pleasure - we've learned to ignore our needs.

Gay sex and shame

For men, especially gay men, there’s often added anxiety that it’s not OK to have the desires you do, and as a result many of us have learned to minimise, or even shut down what we really want.

But your desires and needs don’t go away just because you don’t give them permission.

What happens if you don't give yourself permission?

We’re resourceful - we’ll often try to meet an unmet need by sneaking it in under the guise of doing something ‘for’ someone else.

Have you ever given someone a massage because you secretly wanted one in return?

When we do that, though, things can get muddy quickly - which isn't great for pleasure.

How to move beyond shame and judgement

Learning to become more present to what you want or don’t want is an important first step on a journey of intimacy and sexual self-discovery…

And mindful sex and intimacy coaching with me is also an amazing opportunity to step into a space where you have permission to desire and to feel, without judgement or shame.

That can be a real game-changer when it comes to better sex and intimacy. Watch my video to find out more.

Give yourself more permission for pleasure:

sensual gay connection mindful sex coaching

conSensuality

Guided one-to-one retreats for men who want to explore safe, meaningful intimacy with another man

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Pleasure In Yourself

A guided programme to help you (re)discover and connect with your own body. Learn and practice the simple, foundational skills for pleasure you never got taught in sex-ed classes!

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The Joy of Touch – for couples

A simple, illuminating practice for couples to improve touch and communication – so you can BOTH get a touch experience you really enjoy

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