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How do I work with touch?

In my sessions I work with 4 different dynamics of touch, and 3 different types of touch Find out more about the benefits of each of them.

My touch-based sessions for gay men are built around 4 different dynamics of giving and receiving touch.

When it comes to giving and receiving touch most people think of it in terms of just 2 dynamics: doing = giving, and done-to = receiving. If you've ever had a massage this will sound familiar.

But what if you want to run your fingers through my hair because you enjoy the feel of it? You're doing it for your benefit, not mine. So you’re the one receiving (the gift of access to my body) - but you’re also the one doing the action.

The 4 touch dynamics I work with are much closer to the reality of what we actually experience in our lives (whether or not we’re aware of it):

What are the 4 different touch dynamics I work with?

There are 2 types of giving - this is about giving a gift:

Active giving

I touch you the way you want (I give you the gift of my action)

Passive giving

You touch me the way you want (I give you the gift of access to me)

And there are 2 types of receiving - this is about receiving a gift:

Active receiving

I touch you the way I want (I receive the gift of access to you)

Passive receiving

You touch me the way I want (I receive the gift of your action)

Each dynamic has its own distinct flavour and each one opens up unique possibilities for learning more about yourself and your relationship to pleasure. The dynamics are based on the Wheel Of Consent.

Why do I work with each touch dynamic separately?

Gay sex can feel complicated at the best of times, and if there's a lot happening at once it can get even more confusing - not the easiest way to learn about giving and receiving touch.

Experiencing each touch dynamic separately from the others helps you focus on just the elements that are going to be most useful for you.

And this enables you to develop real skills for meeting your needs, building better boundaries, and communicating your desires authentically when it comes to touch.

So in sessions with me YOU get to choose which of the dynamics you want to explore.

You may want to focus on just one, or you may want to learn about all four.

You may want to get better at the one you find most challenging; or you may want to get more practice at ones you enjoy.

Want to know more?
Arrange a free Clarity Call with me

Read more about the 3 different types of touch I work with:

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What are the benefits of self-touch?

How much do you find pleasure in yourself when you’re pleasuring yourself? Learn how self-touch plays an integral part in developing a more mindful approach to sex and intimacy.

Learn More
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What are the benefits of one-way touch?

Some of the deepest experiences of pleasure and learning can happen when there’s no need to reciprocate – one-way touch sessions are a great way to facilitate this.

Learn More
mindful gay sex mutual touch

What are the benefits of two-way touch?

Discover how interactive touch sessions can help you expand your capacity for physical relating and learn skills for more satisfying mutual touch experiences.

Learn More