If you want to bottom

What does bottoming mean?

The term ‘bottoming’, for men, is usually associated with being penetrated anally – there are different reasons you might want to do it, and different ways it can happen.

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Firstly it’s worth considering what you want from the experience:

It’s possible to be an active bottom. That might look like: being on top, being directive about what happens, prioritising your own pleasure…

It’s also possible to be a more passive bottom. That might look like: being underneath, surrendering, or offering your body as a gift for the top’s pleasure.

Each of those experiences will feel very different - and of course there’s a wide variety in between those two ends of the spectrum.

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What do you want to feel or experience during bottoming?

Some examples could be:

• Feeling filled up – the physical sensation of having something inside you
• Feeling empowered – being in charge of allowing something inside you
• Deep intimate connection – experiencing a part of someone else inside you
• Power dynamics – the vulnerability of letting someone else penetrate you
• Doing something transgressive – navigating associations with cultural taboo, or shame.

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There are different ways anal penetration can happen

Here are some of the main things that could be used:

• Penis – this can allow for more intimate full-body connection for both people
• Toys – this can be a way to experience penetration without your top requiring an erection
• Fingers – this can enable more targeted pressure or sensation than is possible with toys or a penis

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Pleasure and discomfort

The anus and rectum contain some of the highest concentration of nerve endings in the body, and can be highly sensitive. Some of the things which may impact how much pleasure or discomfort you feel are:

• The shape, size, or length of what’s inserted – sometimes the way your body is built means it’s just not a good physical fit for certain shapes or sizes
• Warming up – like any muscle it’s important to take time to prepare and relax. How safe or comfortable you feel can have a big impact on how relaxed you are.
• The speed – slowing down allows your body to adjust to what’s happening, and to feel more comfortable and relaxed.

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Hygiene

It’s important for everyone’s comfort and health that you take some care to prepare well for your experience of bottoming, in particular making sure you’re as clean as you can be down there.

Douching is a common way to clean and prepare and I’d recommend that this is something you consider if you want to bottom in a session with me. It’s usually best to leave a little time between douching and bottoming so I’d suggest doing it before setting out for the session (although I can also offer facilities and some basic equipment if you need to douche during our session time).

Here’s a great douching guide: https://www.gofreddie.com/magazine/the-freddie-guide-to-douching