What’s a bossy massage – and why is it so liberating?

Picture it: you’re lying on a massage table, you’ve taken time out of your busy schedule, paid a chunk of money to the masseur… and yet it’s just not hitting the spot…

How many times have you had a massage, or received touch which was meant to be for your benefit – but wasn’t quite what you wanted?

And how many times did you just end up going along with it; lying there without saying anything, counting the minutes until it’s over?

Most massages – from remedial massage, to gay tantra massage – are about someone else deciding how you should be touched.

A bossy massage is different.

What is a bossy massage?

Developed by Dr Betty Martin (creator of the Wheel Of Consent) it’s actually not really a massage at all in the traditional sense.

But it is an opportunity for you to receive touch exactly the way you choose – without needing to please anyone else in return.

It’s a process where you get to reclaim touch for yourself, so your body gets EXACTLY the touch it wants, every single moment.

And having someone else put your desires first – without judgement, or shame – and dedicate time and care to giving you only the touch YOU choose can be a profound and liberating experience.

How does it work?

It’s based on one simple question: ‘How do you want me to touch you?’

That’s it!

OK, so it might sound simple – but when was the last time anybody asked you how you wanted to be touched?

And then gave you exactly that touch, no ‘improvements’, no extras, just exactly what you asked for.

Think about it… we don’t often get to be ‘bossy’ when it comes to being touched.

Most of us are not used to choosing how we want to be touched – we tend to default to letting someone else touch us the way they want to (even in a massage).

The bossy massage is an opportunity to really focus on your own pleasure without distractions – while it’s happening it’s just about you, and what your body wants.

Try it with a partner or regular playmate

It’s really a great way to deepen and expand how you experience giving and receiving together.

I’ve put together a comprehensive step-by-step guide for you, including tips for how to make the most of your experience – just let me know where you want me to send it and it’ll be pinged straight to your inbox.

Try it with me

If you don’t have a regular partner you can experience the bossy massage with me! I include it in many of my one-to-one sessions in person.

Based on one of the two questions that underpins all my work (find out what the other question is), it’s a great opportunity to practice getting better at following your desires, and asking for what you want.

If you’ve tried gay tantra or erotic massage and are curious to experience an alternative equally focussed on pleasure, but tailored specifically to YOUR body and desires, this is the perfect way.

Book a clarity call with me now to discuss it.