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4 tips for getting the most out of your masturbation

If you're feeling stuck in a rut here are some essential tips to help shift your masturbation from a quick jerk-off towards self-pleasure

Let’s face it, masturbation is possibly the best worst kept secret in the world – most gay guys do it but hardly any of us talk about it – so here are some tips to help you make the most of taking yourself in hand.

This is a chance to celebrate it – to reframe it less as a furtive fumble (the quickie to scratch an itch, or getting off to get off to sleep), and more of an opportunity for finding pleasure in yourself.

Pleasure is not – as many people think – something that somebody else gives you; it’s about an experience you have in your own body.

And who could be more qualified to know your body than yourself?

4 top tips

For gay guys who want to transform their masturbation from a quick jerk-off to real self-pleasure, here are 4 tips to give you a helping hand:

  • Slow it down – give your body a chance to feel what’s happening! Even if you’ve not got much time, don’t just go straight for the climax; good sex involves foreplay, good masturbation should too.
  • Kick the habit – if you feel stuck in a rut, try something different: instead of sitting down with your porn (a position which crunches all the internal organs and reduces blood flow to your genitals) try standing up and allowing more movement to your pelvis. If you always use the same hand position, try experimenting with a different angle or placement.
  • Let go of expectations – ‘I know what I like and I like what I know’ is only going to yield the same results each time. Be curious. The brain is the biggest sex organ so get creative and see what happens – you might surprise yourself!
  • Go for your ‘Hell Yeahhhhh!’ – why settle for ‘OK’ when you can have ‘wonderful’? Ask yourself: ‘what’s the most exquisite touch my body could experience right now?’ If you’re not sure, try giving yourself permission – and time – to experiment.

And don’t forget: as with almost everything in life – practice makes perfect! (As if any excuse were needed).


Check out my Pleasure In Yourself coaching if you want to deepen your skills for self-pleasure